Baking of Bread: A Mom's Humbling Sacrifice

"For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls." - 2 Corinthians 12:14-15

Ever since I can remember, my parents have gone above and beyond to provide for my brother and I. We've never gone hungry or unclothed. We've never had to live on the streets or move in with friends. We've had numerous family trips and vacations. We've both been able to go to college. And, I've been able to go to Kenya. The Summer of 2013 will be for the third time. It is easy to look at my life and see that I've been greatly blessed with a fantastic family and parents that go out of their way to make sure I have what I need and most of what I want. (Still working on the F250;) )

Today, I was reminded just how much they do sacrifice for me, even at almost 23 years old. Still being in school, I don't have a lot of time to work which means I don't have the means to pay for a lot right now. More days than not, I walk around feeling guilty about it. But, today I was reminded that that's what God gave me parents for - to provide for me. Now, one day I will not rely on my parents anymore for my daily living, but for now that's the circumstances I've been given. I truly believe the Lord is using it to keep me humble and to remind me that I can't do anything on my own. Even when I won't rely on my parents anymore, I will still have to rely on Him - for even more than I rely on my parents now.

This morning, my mom sent me an email that she also sent out to her friends and co-workers. This is what it said:

Dear Friends and Supporters!!
My daughter, Abi, has applied and been accepted to go back to Kenya next summer with Choose to Invest.  She will go as staff this time.  This is truly where God is leading and using her.  All my bread proceeds for this year will again go to Kenya!  Just when I thought I would get ahead on some things, God seems to have other ideas.  I am so thankful He has given me this outlet in order to serve Him.

As many times as I've thought about people serving the body of Christ, I seem to forget that I am part of that body. My mom has sacrificed so much over the years for my brother and I. I can't even pretend to know all the things she's wanted to do but hasn't done so that we could do what we wanted. This is just another example of that. My mom's bread baking is her thing - something she loves doing for our family as well as others. And, yet again, she is using it to help me get to where I'm meant to be. I'm speechless as I read over this email again and again. I may be called to reach people 9,000 miles away, but my mom is reaching someone under her own roof. (Which is JUST as important and necessary might I add.) I am so humbled and thankful for the things my mom has done and is currently doing to help get me to where God has called me. I'm a part of my family for a reason and God knew long before I was created that I would need them to help me with all the things that have been placed on my heart - and He's blessed them with the means to do it. He blesses us so that we may bless others.


I am completely humbled this morning by witnessing my mom selflessly serving our God and me as I prepare for the next steps of my journey. I pray that we both continue to lean into Him and trust in His holy and perfect way. I pray we always enjoy the journey.

Rejoice Project

This is just a glimpse of what I had the opportunity to do this summer. I am still so humbled, honored, excited, and thankful for all that the Lord taught me and is continuing to teach me through my J2012 team and the people that I met in Kenya.

Journey Reflections

-Day 17 Reflection - 4 June 2012 - Monday - Ngaamba

Teaching for the first time.

Denali Primary School: 1st of the Summer.

"Beautiful. Today was absolutely beautiful. God is so alive and moving in this place. We got to walk to first school and it was the most beautiful walk. We got to talk to some of the 252 team. For part of the way we drove and Kristin asked us to sing some songs and pray. It was such a cool thing to experience with part of my team. When we got to the school, all the parents greeted us with hugs and smiles. We helped them gather stones to build the new school. It will take two years to complete it. I worked with a woman named Victoria. She has 3 kids. I met one of them, Kevin. These people work harder than anyone I've ever met before. I felt so convicted of being lazy back home. They never complain or stop to rest and they do everything with a smile on their face.

Jon Fox teaching kids through Rejoice Project.

My God is so so good. So beautiful and so intentional. The kids at the school don't have many visitors so they went a little crazy when we got there. We split up into smaller teams and got to teach 4 classes. Class 7 and 8 were two of the ones in our room and it was the first time I got to talk about something outside of the curriculum. Rachel asked them if they knew that God knows how many hairs are on their head. most of them seemed really surprised and said no. So I got to tell them that God's thoughts about them were more than the grains of sand and that wanted to talk to them. It was such a divine moment and completely orchestrated by God.

Kids at Kiu Primary playing.

After the lesson we got to play with the kids. They are starving for attention. When we left, I was walking when I felt two little hands grab me - Umbua and Thimba. We walked together until they had to turn to go home. I found myself walking in the middle of the road where there are ditches. I held their hands so they could walk up on the solid ground. I heard God whisper to me, "That's what I do with you." He constantly walks with us and allows us to stand on Him so we're not walking in the ditches but on solid ground. It was such a good day.

Our view at the top of the mountain outside of Kiu Primary. 

On the bus ride home, we all sang as loud as we could. I love worshipping my God with our team. He has blessed us so much and I know that there are only greater things to come."








Looking back at this journal entry, I can remember feeling so frustrated that day with how teaching went. I can remember getting back to the campsite feeling defeated because nothing went the way we planned. But, it was in the moment of feeling frustrated that God so lovingly - but firmly - assured me that things will never go well if I only rely on my own abilities. It was that day that I really understood that I have to rely on Him for His strength and not my own. I could've fought all summer, like I did that day, to make things go my way. But, I decided in my tent that night to hand my plans over to Him. Had I not, my summer would've been completely different. I'm so thankful that the Lord allowed me to feel as if I failed that day so that I would realize just how little I can accomplish without him. If I couldn't even carry a bag of rocks up a hill, how would I ever carry the weight of my own problems? That's the beauty of my Savior. He carries them for me and asks me to just keep walking.

Beauty in the Valley

My team this summer was heading to Kwambekenya when we stopped at The Great Rift Valley to look at some shops. I was standing on the lookout and I could not get over how absolutely stunning the valley was. It wasn't until two nights later when the Lord spoke me and told me that my own personal valley was just as stunning. Since that night, I've taken those words and applied them to every day of my life and the changes within my heart are inexplainable. Now, I'd love to be able to say that I'm never sad or frustrated or upset anymore but, that's not the kind of change I'm talking about. The valley is still frustrating. It's still upsetting at times. But, when I pause to reflect on why I'm in the valley, I find that it brings me an immense amount of joy.

We so often hear people talk about being "on the mountain top" or "in the valley" in regards to where they are in their walk with Jesus. More times than not, people would rather be on the mountain top as opposed to in the valley. I was one of those people before this summer. But, I've come to prefer being in the valley.

You see, while the mountain top is great, the valley is where you flourish, where you learn to struggle and overcome; where you learn to keep fighting. The view from the top may be spectacular, but if you stop and think about what you're looking at when you're up there, you'll realize that it's either the valley you just came out of, or the one you're about to head in to. From the top, the valley looks beautiful. So why isn't it that way while we're in it? If we can learn to change our perspective on where we currently are, our view of why we're there will drastically change.

In Ezekiel 3 God asks Ezekiel to GO into the valley so that He may speak to him. The Lord says to him, "Arise, go out into the valley, and there I will speak with you." (Ez 3:22). God asked Ezekiel to LEAVE the comfort of where he was and enter the valley where there was no one else but God. When I read this it spoke so strongly to me and was so encouraging to me to keep walking through my valley. So many times we feel as if Jesus has left us in the middle of the valley to find our own way out. But that is so far from true. He enters the valley WITH us! He walks with us - step for step. He leads us when we don't know the way. He pushes us to take that next step. He NEVER leaves us.

I just want to encourage you to really pray about why you're in the valley and to pray for God to change your perspective on being there. So many times I think to myself that everything would be so much easier if I could just get to the mountain top. But, I get there and find that I'm longing to be back in the valley. The valley is challenging. It shapes me and molds me. It's where I am reminded that I can't do it on my own. When you begin to see the beauty that your valley contains, you'll begin to see the beauty and goodness in every situation you find yourself in. You'll begin to see the purpose in every single thing that you face.

I used to be jealous of people who were on the mountain top. But, I've learned to celebrate with them while they're there; to encourage them and walk beside them while in the valley. Every moment has a purpose, you just have to be willing to appreciate where you are so that your eyes and heart may be opened to it.

Your valley is meaningful.
Your valley is full of life.
Your valley is important.
Your valley is YOURS.
Your valley is purposed and planned.
Your valley is beautiful.

Have faith and take a step.